How to Communicate Difficult Issues: Marriage and Relationships Issues

Written By All Video Subscribers on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 | 10:16 AM

How to Communicate Difficult Issues: Marriage and Relationships Issues

Throughout your marriage there will be times when you need to have “must have” conversations. These are the conversations that you both may not want to talk about. These are conversations about difficult issues and situations. These are the conversations that may make you both angry, defensive, sad, and hurt.

Pretending that there is nothing wrong will keep both of you walking on eggshells and will ultimately cause your marriage to fail. Having the difficult talk shows you care enough about your spouse and your marriage to have the conversation.

Furthermore, most relationships don’t make it six weeks. If you share deeply personal information too soon you increase the risk of new relationships ending before the sixth week (due to the added discomfort and pressure of your disclosure), but now you also have to worry about all the personal things they know about you. Here are ten top tips and strategies when you have to have that difficult talk.

10 Tips to Use During the Difficult Conversation:

   1. Open the lines of communication. Ask for input from your partner to help you best figure out a balanced solution to your issue. This will greatly reduce the other person’s defensiveness and make them more available to participate.
   2. Acknowledge your partner’s willingness to talk. Thank them for having the conversation with you both at the start and the end. It will make the discussion a team effort and make your partner feel they have given of themselves. It will also make having the next difficult conversation easier.
   3. Set a time limit. It’s important that you talk, but also that you don’t wear each other out. Thirty minutes to an hour is about the limit. If you need to continue the conversation, make an appointment to do so, that way things aren’t left hanging.
   4. Paraphrase each other’s comments. Telling each other what you heard your partner say will let them know that you really got or didn’t get how they were feeling.
   5. Work out a compromise. Relationships are all about compromise, and how you get there will determine your level of satisfaction with the relationship. Giving your partner what they need is not the same as giving up. Your attitude here is very important.
   6. Make a list of what questions you have and what you’d like your partner to do. It always makes it easier to remember and to stay on topic if you have something in writing. It also helps you make sure you complete the whole issue rather than just some of its parts.
   7. Be okay with being wrong. Difficult conversations don’t always end the way you’d like them to. Sometimes an apology or a change of mind is appropriate. Holding a grudge just because you didn’t get everything you thought you wanted will only cause more discord.
   8. Respect expert advice. If you go to a therapist or read something that defends or rebuts your opinions, take the time to consider it. No one knows everything.
   9. Understand the emotional component. Difficult conversation can bring up lots of feelings. Make sure you’re talking from your heart, but don’t let your emotions run you. Discuss your feelings and ask for theirs. Using I statements when sharing your feelings will minimize any feelings of guilt or anger.
  10. Consolidate the gains and recommit to each other. After you have had the conversation, review what you have decided to do (even if that is only to continue the talking at another time), agree upon the conclusion, and let your partner know that you still love them. Lastly, don’t punish them for bringing up a difficult issue.
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Vietnam's Stunning New Skyscraper

A ground-breaking ceremony has been held for Foster + Partners' first project in Vietnam. The VietinBank Business Centre sends a strong message to the rest of the world: Vietnam is an up-and-coming nation.

Located strategically between central Hanoi and the airport, the project consists of two angular towers that will serve as a gateway to the city. The 300,000-square-metre mixed-use development includes two towers. The taller tower, at 68-stories, will provide an energy-efficient new headquarters for VietinBank. The second, 48-story tower will house a five-star hotel, spa, and serviced apartments. Connecting the two towers is a seven-story podium building which contains conference facilities, luxury shops, cafes, restaurants, and roof top gardens.

The scheme has a progressive environmental agenda and is designed to mitigate the effects of the area's high levels of humidity. The system draws in humidity, separating the water from the atmosphere and exhaling hot, dry air, which can then be cooled by ground water and released back into the buildings. In addition, a serrated facade, made up of projecting fins, provides both shade and a unit of measurement for cellular offices around the perimeter of the floor plate.

10:15 AM | 0 comments | Read More

Super Hip-Hop Dance - Must Watch

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This young dancer, who calls himself Swody, makes a nice video where he reveals his talents as a hip-hop dancer. He practiced to perfection the smurf (popping) and other dance style standing. Hat!

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Miss Italia 2010 - Italian Beauty Francesca Testasecca

Miss Italia 2010 - Italian Beauty Francesca Testasecca

Francesca Testasecca was crowned Miss Italy 2010 at the most traditional Italian beauty pageant held last Monday night, in Salsomaggiore (September 13th). She was crowned by the 75 year-old actress Sophia Loren. Francesca Testasecca is 19 year old and is a professional model.
Miss Italy does not compete in international pageants. Miss World and Miss Universe Italian representatives are chosen in two other national contests.

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Madiha Iftikhar Photo Shoot

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2011 Ford F-150- First Drive

Through the first nine months of 2010, the auto industry is on pace to increase sales by 10 percent versus 2009, and pickup trucks are leading the charge. Bloomberg reports that bedded haulers are up 14 percent on the year, led by increased demand from the farming industry. Farmers have seen their revenues increase by $9 billion over last year, with both prices and demand rising in part because of droughts in Russia and Canada. Farmers are using their new-found dollars to invest in their businesses, and trucks are among the biggest and best tools in the box barn.

Automakers are beneficiaries of this investment, as truck sales climb and profits soar. Analyst Joe Barker of IHS Automotive claims that automakers can make up to $15,000 on each pickup sold, a figure that holds firmest when incentives are down. And with sales up, incentives have dipped. Edmunds shows that trucks have an average MSRP of $34,235, or about $2,000 higher than in 2009. Supply and demand really does work.

The biggest recipient of the increased demand for pickups has so far been Ford, which has seen its F-Series pickups jump by 31 percent. Chevy Silverado sales are up 17 percent as well. Even the Toyota Tundra, which has struggled in the U.S. market, is up 21 percent. The Ram appears to be the only truck suffering through the pickup truck boom, with sales down one percent year-over-year.

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Naturally Curly Hair Care: 5 Effective Tips

Naturally Curly Hair Care: 5 Effective Tips

Hair comprises of one of those features that can make or mar the personality of a person. The type of your hair, as well as the way you style it, can go a long way in adding to your looks. All the people in this world are not gifted with the same type of hair.

Is your hair a bushy nest of undefined frizzy curls? You are not the only one. Many with potentially gorgeous curls care for them in the wrong way, or they just get so sick of curls that they straighten them! Well, chuck the straightener, and keep reading for how to keep your curvaceous hair looking great.

1. Apply a Leave-In Conditioner

Curly hair tends to be dry especially during the cold months, curly hair can become frizzy and out of control. To help keep curly hair soft and manageable, it is a great idea to apply a leave-in conditioner to either wet or dry hair depending on the product being used. It is important with a leave-in conditioner to not apply an excessive amount as too much conditioner can cause hair to be weighted down and greasy looking.

2. Use a Dryer Sheet for Fly Away Hairs

Curly hair is notorious for having fly away hairs, some of my family and friends who have curly hair will have those little wiry curly hairs sticking out every where! An excellent way to control those fly away hairs is by gently rubbing a dryer sheet over the hair and the fly away hairs are immediately tamed down. If you thought dryer sheets were just for the clothes, you thought wrong because your hair can also benefit from the dryer sheets too.

3. Use Mayonnaise for Shine

Naturally curly hair is not always as shiny as some of the other textures of hair and curly hair many times needs that little extra boost for added shine. A great product that aids in giving curly hair some shine comes right from the kitchen and it is mayonnaise. Generously apply mayonnaise all over the hair, then comb the mayonnaise through the hair using a wide tooth comb. Wrap your head with plastic wrap and the heat of your head will help the mayonnaise to penetrate into the cuticles of the hair. Leave the mayonnaise on for a couple hours for it to really get into the hair, if you are able to sleep with the mayonnaise and plastic wrap on your head through the night it is a great way to leave the mayonnaise on your curly hair for an extended period of time.

4. Shampoo Every Other Day

Naturally curly hair can really benefit from the natural oils in the scalp, by shampooing curly hair every other day, it gives your hair the chance to get some natural oils on the hair shafts. Natural oils on the hair shaft help to calm curly hair down and also help with added shine. Some people do not feel comfortable washing their hair every other day because they do not like the way their hair looks on the non-wash day, if you are one of these people, consider put your hair up in a pony tail or bun on the second day so that your hair can benefit from the natural oils from the scalp.

5. Invest in a Diffuser

The best thing for curly hair is to let the hair dry naturally but most of the time we do not have time to let hair air dry. Curly hair can get wild with the normal blow drying process but a diffuser can help with minimizing the direct air being blow on the hair. While a diffuser still helps dry the hair quicker than air drying, it also diffuses the blow dryer air so that fly away hair and the frizzy hair look are minimized.
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Ricky Ponting Family Pictures – Australian Cricket Star Ricky Ponting with his wife and kid

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Rainbow Hairstyles

Technicolor Hairstyles - Rainbow Dye Job

The looks in Vixen Magazine Spring 2010 are sure to turn heads. Not just the rainbow dye jobs featured in the spread, but also incredible dresses paired with these psychedelic hairdos.

Elias Wessel shot the spread featuring cover beauty Lydia Hearst. This explosion of colors gives the reader a wonderland for the eyes. Styled by Storm Pedersen and art director Sophy Holland, this Vixen Magazine Spring 2010 spread is an example of how to stand out from the rest.

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Gayathri Jyoshi in Saree

Gayathri Jyoshi in Saree

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The Don 2 Team in Berlin

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